My Dear Lilah Girl,

In one week you will be six months old. SIX MONTHS! Half a year! Time has never gone by so fast. You are such a joy...a wiggling, giggling, little joy. We are buddies, you and me. Very soon I will have to play the mother role and direct you from right and wrong but for now we play and smile at each other and all is well.

Now for what I really want to say: The sleep thing. In general you've done well. Great in fact until we took you off your cradle and into the flat surface of your pack 'n play. It's been a fight for a few months but you have gone over a week sleeping through the night again in the pack 'n play. Aunt Jaime asked me over Thanksgiving why I didn't want you in your crib and I explained to her that I did (!). I just didn't want to put you in there until you were sleeping through the night. After all, it's much easier to just reach over in the middle of the night than to get up and walk to your room to rescue you.
What I realize though is that that Aunt Jaime is one smart cookie. I think she realized something I did not because now that your through the night again and ready to go to your room it's hard for me to let you go (and daddy is no help either...he'd let you move in our room permanently if it were up to him). At first my argument (with myself) was that you would go in the crib after my work weekend so that I would be assured good sleep. But now that the work weekend is over, anxiety is high about putting you in your crib. It's only a few feet but it seems so far away!

Tonight you will go though because you are ready. Even though I'm not, you are. With this tiny letting go, I am suddenly aware of all the letting go I will have to do in your life. Today it's the crib and one day it will be college.

Forgive me, baby girl, if in between I hold on a little too tightly.

Love, mom