Peace

Four days.
I know myself: I like plans and organization. I like to know what is ahead of me and what to expect. I like to be in control. That is not the case right now and as court for TPR quickly approaches I feel like I should be freaking out.

But I'm not.

I truly feel as if God has given me peace in my heart and in my mind.

This is what I know:
We've played our role. We've welcomed these girls with open arms and have loved them heart and soul. We've had our ups and downs. We've learned each other. We've done boo-boos, hugs, time outs, homework, birthdays, bath time, bedtime stories, hurt feelings, fusses, shoe tying, nose wiping, bicycle riding, doctor visits, family vacations, swimming lessons, prayers, tears, you name it.
The girls are different little people than they were when we watched them that first day through the mirrored glass at DHR. We also are different people than we were that first day. This has changed all of us and for the better.

Proverbs 3:5 tells me, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understandings."

This peace in my heart doesn't come because I know that next week's trial will turn out favorably for us and the girls. Rather it comes from knowing that our story has already been written. It comes from having complete and total faith in God's plan.
Logic and reason point to the outcome we desire.
Things aren't always logical and reasonable in the this world though.
Our hearts would be broken and we would be fearful for our girls if they were to return "home" (as DHR says).
Sadly, sometimes this world works that way.
Over and over we have made our requests to our Father in heaven to allow us to love and care for these girls for always.
That is all we can do.
Please pray with us: for continued peace, for a forever family, for a quick decision by the courts, for our girls future...whatever that looks like.

This is heavy I know and long but all to say that we are okay today. We are positive and hopeful. The girls are oblivious and will remain that way until they have to know otherwise. They are happy. Really that's all that matters.